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JHammer-SmugPresentation

Justin Hammer.

A collection of quotes from the ruthless businessman, Justin Hammer.

Movies

Iron Man 2

Spoken by Justin Hammer

"Tony and I… Tony… I love Tony Stark. Tony loves me. We’re not competitors. Him being out of the picture created tremendous opportunities for Hammer Industries, you know? Everything that Tony and I do is a health competition...Is he driving?"
Justin Hammer[src]
"Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. Thanks for coming. Ladies and gentlemen, for far too long, this country has had to place its brave men and women in harm’s way, but then the Iron Man arrived, and we thought the days of losing lives were behind us. Sadly, that technology was kept out of reach. That’s not fair. That’s not right. And it’s just too bad. Regardless, it was an impressive innovation, one that grabbed the headlines the world over. Well, today, my friends, the press is faced with quite a difficult problem. They are about to run out of ink! Get that out of here. Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you the new face of the United States military: The Hammer drone. Army! Navy! Air Force! Marines! Yeah! Yeah! Woo! That’s a hell of a lot better than some cheerleaders, let me tell you. But as revolutionary as this technology is, there will always be a need for man to be present in the theatre of war. Ladies and gentlemen, today I am proud to present to you the very first prototype in the Variable Threat Response Battle Suit and its pilot, Air Force Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes."
Justin Hammer[src]

Dialogue

"I’m no expert in weapons. We have somebody here who is an expert on weapons. I’d now like to call Justin Hammer, our current primary weapons contractor."
"Let the record reflect that I observed Mr Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance."
"Absolutely. I’m no expert. I defer to you, Anthony. You’re the wonder boy. Senator, if I may. I may well not be an expert, but you know who was the expert? Your dad. Howard Stark. Really a father to us all, and to the military-industrial age. Let’s just be clear, he was no flower child. He was a lion. We all know why we’re here. In the last six months, Anthony Stark has created a sword with untold possibilities. And yet, he insists it’s a shield. He asks us to trust him as we cower behind it. I wish I were comforted, Anthony, I really do. I’d love to leave my door unlocked when I leave the house, but this ain’t Canada. You know, we live in a world of grave threats, threats that Mr Stark will not always be able to foresee. Thank you. God bless Iron Man. God bless America."
Stern, Tony Stark and Justin Hammer[src]
"Is that Justin Hammer? How did Hammer get in the game? Justin, you’re on TV. Focus up."
"Okay, give me a left twist. Left’s good. Turn to the right. Oh, shit! Oh, shit!"
"Wow. Yeah, I’d say most countries, five, ten years away. Hammer Industries, twenty."
"I’d like to point out that that test pilot survived!"
Tony Stark, Justin Hammer (TV) and Justin Hammer[src]
"Anthony. Is that you?"
"My least favourite person on Earth."
"Hey, pal."
"Justin Hammer."
"How you doing? You’re not the only rich guy here with a fancy car. You know Christine Everhart from Vanity Fair. You guys know each other?"
"Hi. Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes, roughly."
"We do."
"BTW, big story. The new CEO of Stark Industries."
"I know, I know."
"Congratulations."
"My editor will kill me if I don’t grab a quote for our Powerful Women issue."
"Oh."
"Can I?"
"Sure."
"She’s actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I’d throw her a bone, you know. Right?"
"Right. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year."
"And she wrote a story as well."
"It was very impressive."
"That was good."
"It was very well done."
"Thank you."
"I’m gonna go wash."
"Don’t leave me."
"Hey, buddy. How you doing?"
"I’m all right."
"Looking gorgeous."
"Please, this is tough."
"Can I ask you… Is this the first time…"
"Fromage. Say “Brie”."
"…that you guys have seen each other?"
"God, that’s so awful."
"Listen, is it the first time you’ve seen each other since the Senate?"
"Since he got his contract revoked…"
"Actually, it’s on hold."
"…when you were attempting to…That’s not what I heard. What’s the difference between “hold and “cancelled”? The truth?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"No. The truth is… Why don’t we put that away? The truth is, I’m actually hoping to present something at your Expo."
"Well, if you invent something that works, I’ll make sure I get you a slot."
"I actually have a slot this year. Yes, I do."
"Hammer needs a slot, Christine."
"We kid, yeah. We kid. We’re kidders."
Justin Hammer, Tony Stark, Christine Everhart and Pepper Potts[src]
"Tony’s… You know, he… We’re not competitive. You know what I mean?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, can you excuse me just one second?"
"Just read me what you wrote."
"I will. I will, after."
"Just read it back to me."
"But I have to make one quick phone call."
"Where are you going?"
"This is great."
"I’ve got some caviar coming."
"This is great stuff. I’ll be right back."
Justin Hammer and Christine Everhart[src]
"Hey. There he is. There he is. What an absolute pleasure. Welcome. Oh goodness gracious. Can we get the handcuffs off my friend here? Forgive me, I’m sorry. I’m such a huge fan of yours. I didn’t want to make a first impression like this. He’s not an animal. Come on. He’s a human being. Thank you. We’re fine. My name is Justin Hammer. I’d like to do some business with you. Please sit. Dig in. What do we have today Jack?"
"We have some salmon carpaccio."
"Salmon carpaccio. Anything you want here, we got it. I like my dessert first. I had this flown in from San Francisco. It’s Italian though. Organic ice cream. I got a sweet tooth. Apparently you do too, for Tony Stark. What I saw you do to Tony Stark on that track, how you stepped up to him in front of God and everybody that was...Wow. You spoke to me with what you did. And I know that you knew that I’d be listening. This is why I couldn’t bear to have you shipped off to God knows where. It would have been such a waste of talent. But if I might make a suggestion, you know, you don’t just go and try to kill the guy. I think, if I may, you go after his legacy. That’s what you kill. You and me, we are a lot alike in a lot of ways. The only difference between you and I is that I have resources. I think, if I may, you need my resources. Someone behind you, a benefactor. I’d like to be that guy. Okay. Do you speak English? Because I can get a translator. I don’t know. Have you been understanding everything I’m saying?"
"Very good, man."
"Very good, man."
"Very good, man."
"Hey!"
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"I want my bird."
"A bird? You want a bird?"
"I want my bird."
"I can get you a bird. I can get you ten birds."
"I want my bird."
"Well, okay. Nothing’s impossible. I could… Are we talking about… Is this a bird back in Russia?"
Justin Hammer, Jack and Ivan Vanko[src]
"This is where we do it. This is my humble abode. You can work in absolute peace. Must be fun to be dead, right? No pressure. Here they are. I’m very excited. They’re combat-ready. I may have done a few miscalculations and rushed the prototype into production. Sue me, I’m enthusiastic. Go ahead, take a look around. You don’t wanna do that. You’ll be able to access that as soon as we generate some encrypted pass codes. Can we generate some encrypted pass codes? Get some of those encrypted pass codes, Jack. Never mind, I… Wow. Okay. Good stuff. Sorry?"
"Software shit."
"Well...You’re good. You really blasted in past the firewall there. Let me show you where you’re gonna be working primarily. Go ahead, take a look. Get a good look at that. That’s something, isn’t it? You know, those are really just for show and tell. They’re $125.7 million a pop, so… Wait! Oh gosh. Jesus Christ. Get somebody up here. That’s where the pilot goes. I’m having a tough time finding volunteers. I’ll take care of that, just leave it."
"What you want them do?"
"Well, long term, I want them to put me in the Pentagon for the next 25 years. I want to make Iron Man look like an antique. I wanna go to that Stark Expo, I wanna take a dump in Tony Stark’s front yard. You know what I’m talking about?"
"I can do that. No problem."
"Yeah? Hey, fabulous! I love it. Hey, this is our guy. Didn’t I tell you? I had a feeling."
Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko[src]
"Hey, hey, het. Special delivery. Candygram. We got you the bird, pal."
"This is not my bird."
"What do you mean? That’s the bird. This is the bird. Yeah, pulled a lot of strings to get this bird. This is a great bird."
"It’s a beautiful bird."
"We got this bird all the way from Russia."
"Hey, man, this is not my bird."
"Well, listen, even if it’s not the bird, I mean, this is a gorgeous bird. I mean, you know, look, don’t get so attached to things. Learn to let go. Wait a minute. Jack, what is that? Is that… That’s not a helmet. What is that? Ivan...What’s this? Jack. Is that a helmet? It doesn’t look like a helmet to me. How… How are you supposed to get a head in there? Jack, could you put your head in there?"
"No."
"Try to put your head in there. Go ahead. Try to put your head in there. See, Ivan? He can’t put his head in there. That’s...That’s not a helmet. It’s a head. I need to put a guy in there. I need to fit a person in that suit. You understand?"
"Drone better."
"What? Drone better? Why is drone better? Why is drone better?"
"People make problem. Trust me. Drone better."
"Ivan, you know, I like you. I got you the bird. You said, “No problem.” That’s what you said to me. You said, “No problem.” Now I need suits. The government wants suits. Like Iron Man. You understand? That’s what the people want. That’s what’s gonna make them happy."
"Hey, man. Don’t get too attached to things. Learn to let go."
"These drones better steal the show, Ivan. You understand? Better rock my world, Ivan."
Justin Hammer, Ivan Vanko and Jack[src]
"Oh, yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes. Is it my birthday? You got it. What did you do? What did you do? Is this what I think it is?"
"Yes it is. Hammer, I want to know what you’re gonna do for us."
"What am I going to do for you? Well, the first thing I’m gonna do for you is I’m gonna upgrade your software. And then, second, I think I should..."
"That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about firepower."
"Well, you’re talking to the right guy. Claridge Hi-Tec, semi-automatic, 9mm pistol. Too downtown? I agree. M24 shotgun, pump action. Five-round magazine. You know what? You’re not a hunter. What am I talking about? I’m getting rid of it. This is the FN F2000 from Belgium. They do make something better than waffles. It’s beautiful, But I can tell this isn’t disco enough for you, so I’m gonna put it right here. You’re looking at a Milkor 40mm grenade launcher. Tear gas, smoke. Hippie control. You’re tough. Let me tell you something. Size does matter. Don’t let anyone tell you different. This is an M134 7.62 Minigun. Six invidual barrels. The torso taker, powder maker. Our boys in uniform call in Uncle Gazpacho or Puff the Magic Dragon. Okay. These are the Cubans, baby. This is the Cohibas, the Montecristos. This is a kinetic-kill, side-winder vehicle with a secondary cyclotrimethlyenetrinitamine DX burst. It’s capable of busting the bunker under the bunker you just busted. If it were any smarter, it would write a book. A book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. It would read it to you. This is my Eiffel Tower. This is my Rachmaninoff’s Third. My Pieta. It’s completely elegant. It’s bafflingly beautiful. And it’s capable of reducing the population of any standing structure to zero. I call it the Ex-Wife. That’s the best I got. Are we gonna do this? Give me something here. You’re like a Sphinx. I can’t read you."
"I think I’ll take it."
"Which one?"
"All of it."
"All of it."
Justin Hammer and James Rhodes[src]
"Hey Ivan. I got Senator Stern here. Thought we’d swing over and look at some of the drone designs."
"The drone is not going to be ready."
"Not ready? What do you mean?"
"I can make presentation, not demonstration."
"What the hell is the difference?"
"Presentation. No fly. No shoot."
"Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. What can you make them do? I mean, this is a weapons demonstration."
"I can make salute."
"You can make salute? What do you mean “make salute”? What the hell does that mean Ivan? This is not what we agreed to, okay? You promised me suits and then you promised me drones."
"Hey, man, everything will be okay."
"This is not what I wanted."
Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko[src]
"Hey, there he is. It’s the bird man. Now you like the bird. Is that right? Is that your bird? I’m confused. You said it wasn’t, but now it looks like you’re the best of pals. You love that bird, don’t you? You know what? Take the bird."
"Hey!"
"Take his pillows too. Both of them. And his shoes. Take his shoes. I took your stuff. How does that make you feel? Do you feel bad? Good. ‘Cause that’s how I feel! We had a contract. I saved your life and you give me suits. That was our deal. And you did not deliver. I don’t know if you’re a genius or a fraud. I don’t know what you are. Something really, really great fell into my lap. And if it hadn’t, I’d be at your mercy tonight. Now I have a piece of Stark tech that I pimped out myself. And now your overpriced paperweights and gonna look like a backdrop to my demonstration. Do you dig what I’m getting at here?"
"Слишком много говоришь"[1]
"I don’t know if you know this, but I don’t speak Russian! I’m gonna leave now. I’m gonna go to the Expo. Maybe I’ll even get laid. You see these guys? They’re your babysitters. They are not to be trifled with. When I get back, we’re gonna renegotiate the terms of our agreement. And you’re gonna make good on our arrangement because if you don’t, you’re gonna be exactly what you were when I found you, a dead man. You got that? Maybe you can watch me on TV."
Justin Hammer and Ivan Vanko[src]
"What’s going on? What’s happening?"
"The software’s been overridden."
"What? What do you mean it’s been overridden? What does that mean?"
"I think he slaved the drones."
"That’s impossible. Call the guards."
"All the phones are down sir."
"Well, then call their… Call their cells."
"Their cell phones are not working either sir."
"He’s locked us out of the mainframe."
"Who’s locked you out of the mainframe?"
"Please, please, go away. Go away. I’ve got this handled."
"Have you now?"
"Yes, I do. In fact, if your guy hadn’t showed up, this wouldn’t be happening. So, please, now go away. Thank you. Listen, we got to get these bitches out of here. What?"
"You tell me who’s behind this. Who’s behind this?"
"Ivan. Ivan Vanko."
"Where is he?"
"At my facility."
"I need NYPD, please."
"No, no, no!"
"Command Central."
"No, no, honey. Don’t call the authorities!"
Justin Hammer, Technician, Jack, Pepper Potts and Black Widow[src]

Marvel One-Shots

Marvel One-Shot: All Hail the King

Spoken by Justin Hammer

"Look at this guy. What is so special about him? I mean, I had an army of robots. What's he got? He's got some dumb accent. His name's Trevor. What is that? It's like if bin Laden and Benny Hill had a baby. Then I get to wake up and look at this chick? "Pepper Potts stirs up stuff." "Look at me." Some second-rate, jumped up, Amazon secretary. Tony and I... Tony's cool. Tony and I, we have an understanding. We're brothers in arms, you know. Literally. We were both arms dealers. We're both good-looking. We both have nice hair. We both have boats. I used to have a boat. Well, anyway...Not here, baby. Not here."
Justin Hammer[src]

References

  1. "Translates to: "You talk too much."
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