User blog:Carnassis/Inhumans (A spoiler-free review)

Alrighty, so I just finished marathoning the entirety of the new Inhumans series, and to make a long story short: It's bad. Like, really bad. Granted, the acting is pretty great, and it has enormous potential. That being said, it has some of the worst writing I have ever seen.  Even to a True Believer who instinctively defends everything associated with Marvel, it was bad. Remember how Danny Rand had that weird stilted speech pattern in Iron Fist ? Buckle up: now literally everyone talks like that. It was allowable in Iron Fist because Danny was raised by fanatic alien monks or whatever, and was then placed on Earth and had to adjust. ''One cannot write a script where everyone is deliberatly unrelatable and irritating. ''One tiny example: Medusa not calling Black Bolt "Blackagar" because it's slightly less rediculous than constantly referring to your husband as "Black Bolt" every five seconds. You know how the Fantastic Four (in literally every incarnation I can recall) are on a first-name basis because they are family? Not so in this case.

(EDIT: I wrote the majority of this review before learning that it is, in fact, the same guy who wrote Iron Fist, which I guess explains some of it.)

In my opinion, the only saving grace was the actors, who somehow kept a straight face through their line delivery while injecting emotion and intensity directly into the heart of the cold, dead script, thereby occasionally distracting me from how stupid their lines were (I'll include examples in my next unwanted, unread, and unnecessary post, but a huge shoutout to the Boltagons). Also, the costuming was pretty decent (Black Bolt only has the tuning fork for one scene, as it should be), and the interpretation of Karnak's powers was genuinely interesting.

And now for some more gripes:

Ok, I'm good for now.
 * Either deliberatly or accidentally, the first half of the first episode is written like the world's worst sitcom (which is to say, the pilot of Fuller House) in terms of tone and pacing.
 * Medusa doesn't call  Black Bolt "Blackagar".
 * There are several inexcusable plot holes, which I will not get into because of spoilers.
 * They don't explain anything about Lockjaw, yet repeatedly draw attention to the fact that he is a "teleporting dog from the moon" (actual quote).
 * Every Inhuman routinely vomits exposition, and they do so frequently, in large bursts, and for no reason whatsoever (we're talking considerably worse than The Last Airbender ).
 * They arbitrarily turn a main character into a literal ninja for like ten minutes as an excuse to weasel in more martial arts, and it's not who you think. Also, Hand-style ressurection makes a brief appearance with grossly insufficient justification (I would go on about this, but I want to avoid spoilers in case someone actually wants to watch).
 * Medusa refers to her people as "Inhumanity", which (although grammatically correct) sounds really dumb.
 * A human scientists runs a quick test on Black Bolt and immediately concludes that because he has alien DNA and a nervous system that links his brain directly to his vocal cords, his voice can blow everything to hell (he had literally no way of knowing that).

TL/DR: The script is a steaming pile of garbage, and it gets in the way of what could have been really good.