Phil Coulson/Quote

A collection of quotes of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Phil Coulson.

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"I'm Agent Phil Coulson with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

- Phil Coulson to Pepper Potts

Dialogue
"Mr. Stark." "Yeah?" "Agent Coulson." "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy from the..." "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division." "Whew! God, you really need a new name for that." "Yeah, I hear that a lot."

- Phil Coulson and Tony Stark

"Oh, wow! What's that? It's, like, a little device? It's, like, a thing that's going to pick the lock?" "You might want to take a few steps back."

- Pepper Potts and Phil Coulson

"Agent Coulson, I just wanted to say thank you very much for all of your help." "That's what we do. You'll be hearing from us." "From the Strategic Homeland..." "Just call us S.H.I.E.L.D.."

- Pepper Potts and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet."

- Phil Coulson to Tony Stark

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Sir, we've found it."

- Phil Coulson to Nick Fury

"Sorry, ma'am, we're the good guys."

- Phil Coulson to Jane Foster

Dialogue
"Is that one of Stark's?" "I don't know. Guy never tells me anything."

- Cale and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"You're at 114 Solenski Plaza, 3rd floor. We have an F-22 exactly 8 miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can make the lobby."

- Phil Coulson to Georgi Luchkov

"It's a vintage set. It took me a couple of years to collect them all. Near mint. Slight foxing around the edges, but..."

- Phil Coulson speaking of his Captain America Card Collection

"So, that's what it does."

- Phil Coulson

Spoken about Phil Coulson
"Phil? Uh, his first name is 'Agent'."

- Tony Stark

"He was an idiot." "Why? For believing?" "For taking on Loki alone." "He was doing his job!" "He was out of his league, he should have waited."

- Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

"And there's one other person you pissed off. His name was Phil."

- Tony Stark to Loki

Dialogue
"Dr. Selvig read an energy surge from the Tesseract four hours ago." "NASA didn't authorize Selvig to go to test phase." "He wasn't testing it, he wasn't even in the room. Spontaneous event."

- Phil Coulson and Nick Fury

"I'll brief you on everything when you get back. But first, we need you to talk to the big guy." "Coulson, you know that Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me." "Oh, I've got Stark. You get the big guy."

- Phil Coulson and Black Widow

"Mr. Stark, we need to talk." "You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message." "This is urgent." "Then leave it urgently."

- Phil Coulson and Tony Stark

"I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a... just a huge honor to have you on board." "Well, I hope I'm the man for the job." "Oh, you are. Absolutely."

- Phil Coulson and Steve Rogers

"Uh... we've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input." "The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little... old fashioned?" "With everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old fashioned."

- Phil Coulson and Steve Rogers

"I'm sorry, boss. The god rabbited." "Just stay awake. Eyes on me." "No, I'm clockin' out here." "Not an option." "It's okay, boss. This was never gonna work if they didn't have something to..."

- Phil Coulson and Nick Fury

Dialogue
"They want Blonsky in the team." "The Abomination?" "They really don't like when you call him that."

- Phil Coulson and Jasper Sitwell

"So, on the Council's orders, we have to send one of our people down to General Ross to ask for Blonsky, who we don't even want." "Exactly."

- Jasper Sitwell and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Tell them those Tae-Bo tapes really paid off."

- Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"It's a magical place."

- Phil Coulson

"Don't touch Lola."

- Phil Coulson

"People tend to confuse the words 'new' and 'improved'."

- Phil Coulson to Grant Ward

"Michael Peterson, factory worker. Married, one kid. Gets injured, gets laid off, wife jumps ship. Good guy, bad breaks. Best guess is, somebody tells him they can make him strong again. Make him super."

- Phil Coulson

"Nobody's nobody, Ward."

- Phil Coulson to Grant Ward

"We didn't cut off the head of the Centipede. Whoever sponsored that little experiment is still out there."

- Phil Coulson to Skye.

"The tide is rising."

- Phil Coulson to Skye

Spoken about Phil Coulson
"I'm clearance Level Six. I know that... Agent Coulson was killed in action before the battle of New York. Got the full report."

- Grant Ward

Dialogue
"You should go some time." "Where?" "Tahiti. It's a magical place."

- Phil Coulson and Maria Hill

"I'm not exactly a team player." "We're not exactly a team."

- Skye and Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"You used to have 100 men at your disposal, and now...?" "A hand-picked team. And yes, they're that good."

- Camilla Reyes and Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"Excuse me." "Who the hell are you?" "A concerned citizen who happens to be a member of a giant bureaucratic organization that's tracking your every move."

- Phil Coulson and Todd Chesterfield

Spoken about Phil Coulson
"I forgot how good you are."

- Akela Amador

"What happened to Agent Coulson? He's different." "Well, he's loosened up a bit. He nearly died before the Battle of New York." "But what did they do to him?" "I'm sorry?" "Never mind."

- Akela Amador and Melinda May

Dialogue
"What's up Phil?" "I prefer you not call me Phil." "Ok, you're the boss, A.C."

- Skye and Phil Coulson

"You told me that you were ready for combat. That you had my back." "Don't ever doubt it."

- Phil Coulson and Melinda May

"I know Director Fury felt he owed you after you sacrificed yourself." "And my card collection."

- Grant Ward and Phil Coulson

"Who were they?" "Don't know. Even to this day. But they were organized."

- Phil Coulson and Akela Amador.

"Not many people would have made that call, to give Amador a second chance." "I got one. Seems only fair I extend the same opportunity to others."

- Skye and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Why are you here? You've been keeping something from us this whole time. And it wasn't just a boyfriend. You have a secret, Skye, and one chance to come out with it. That's now, or I'm done with you."

- Phil Coulson to Skye

"I love these things."

- Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"What kind of organization are we dealing with?" "International, well-financed and interested in creating a Super-Soldier."

- Grant Ward and Phil Coulson speaking about the Centipede Project

"His file didn't say anything about him being psychotic, did it?" "No. It just said he was kind of a tool."

- Melinda May and Phil Coulson

"You bend someone long enough and they break! Poor little Chan Ho Yin may have believed your lies, but not Scorch!" "Who?" "Oh, crap. They gave him a name."

- Chan Ho Yin, Melinda May and Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"I got hurt once. Pretty bad. I-I died. Some say it was for only eight seconds, but I know it was more than that. I know I wasn't here anymore. I was there." "What's it like?" "It's beautiful."

- Phil Coulson and Tony Diaz

"That doesn't sound like the Phil Coulson I used to know." "No, I suppose it doesn't. Get used to it."

- Felix Blake and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"I know what the safety of a thousand men is worth. I know the importance of taking the Overkill Device out of play. But, I also know my men, and what they're worth!"

- Phil Coulson to Victoria Hand

"Trust the system."

- Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"Barton, Romanoff, they never have an extraction plan." "They know that going in!"

- Victoria Hand and Phil Coulson

"Seems Fury has a soft spot for his favorites. Not everyone gets sent to Tahiti." "It's a magical... place."

- Victoria Hand and Phil Coulson

"Will you help me find out what really happened?" "Dangerous waters. But, I can try." "Thank you."

- Phil Coulson and Melinda May

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"You know, it would be nice if, for once, Thor and his his people sent down the 'God of Cleaning Up After Yourself'. They probably have a magic broom for this sort of thing."

- Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"Did I fall asleep?" "For a little while..."

- Phil Coulson and Karine

"Honestly, Tahiti is too good to be true." "I know. It's a magical place."

- Phil Coulson and Karine

Dialogue
"She took it upon herself to get them out. Said she could fix the problem. So she went in, crossed off the enemy force. Didn't say how." "Did she lose anyone in there?" "Herself."

- Phil Coulson and Skye

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Mr. Peterson, if you could put that bulldozer back where you find it, we need you to suit up."

- Phil Coulson

"With all the high-tech gadgets and gizmos at our disposal, it's easy to forget about the simple tools of the past."

- Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"Their technology keeps advancing at a disturbingly rapid pace. They must have endless manpower, resources." "And someone with a fat wallet."

- Phil Coulson and Skye speaking about the Centipede Project

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure." "Lucky for you."

- Raina and Phil Coulson

"Whatever this is, whatever you think you’re doing, it won’t work. I won’t give you what you want." "You will. And what we want is simple: we want you to tell us about the day after you died."

- Phil Coulson and Raina

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Let me die, please. Please. Please, I'm begging you let me die. Please! Please, let me die! Let me die, please! Please! Let me die! Please! Let me die!"

- Phil Coulson during the procedure

Spoken about Phil Coulson
"No single agent is that important." "Coulson is."

- Victoria Hand and Grant Ward

Dialogue
"I know you don't want to believe it, but you can't tell me nothing makes you doubt, makes you wonder what happened in Tahiti." "It's a magical pla... I keep saying that." "Don't you want to know why?" "Turn it...turn it on."

- Raina and Phil Coulson

"I heard what you did for me. I think it's time that we remove this. Disengage bracelet." "Are you kidding me?" "Thought you'd like that."

- Phil Coulson and Skye

Dialogue
"When we started this, I told you that you might not like what you learn." "And I told you... That it can't be worse than what I've imagined." "It is."

- Phil Coulson and Skye

"That's the thing about Skye. What I told her shattered her world. Her lifelong search lead to stories of murder and now it's too difficult to continue. Her search is over. Her story ends here. But you know what she said?" "Tell me." "She said no. Her story started here. Her whole life, she thought she wasn't wanted. That she didn't belong, that every family that took her in didn't want her to stay. Didn't care. But all that time, it was S.H.I.E.L.D. protecting her. Looking after her. That's what she took away from the story. Not the family she'll never have, but the one she's always had. Here I am telling her something that could destroy her faith in humanity, and somehow she manages to repair a little piece of mind. The world is full of evil and lies and pain and death, and you can't hide from it. You can only face it. The question is, when you do, how do you respond? Who do you become?"

- Phil Coulson telling Melinda May how Skye responded when he told her about he past.

"She wasn't the first one to die. We were headed into the Hunan Province in China. Senior agent had called in an 0-8-4." "An object of unknown origin. We dealt with those before." "He said the entire village had died trying to protect this one. Avery and I were fresh out of the Academy. There were five of us running the back end until we lost communication with the first team. We had been searching. Found the senior agent up under a bridge. He managed to escape with a gunshot wound to the neck, but he bled out. He was still holding on to the 0-8-4. Poor thing was covered in blood. We thought she was dead too, but she was just asleep in a dead agents arms." "Wait, the baby? The girl was the 0-8-4?" "If she had powers or something, we never witnessed it. The five of us helicoptered the kid off. Headed home. After we landed, we started getting crossed off." "Executed." "Tortured. Heads bashed in. Then when it came down to Avery and I, we realized that the only way to keep our people and the kid from being hunted-" "Was to erase her from existence." "Avery was smart. She used to lead agents credentials to fake a level 8 clearance. She'd set up a nearly invisible protocol. The foster system was ordered to move the kid around every few months." "But they still got to Avery." "She died protecting that secret." "And you left town." "I left everything. I mean whoever killed that kid's family and all those agents was a force to be recon with."

- Richard Lumley and Phil Coulson discussing Skye's past.

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"If it's somewhere on Earth, we'll find it."

- Phil Coulson

"I can’t deal with Asgard today."

- Phil Coulson after examining an unknown technology.

"Oh.. Oh, god. Hang on. Just hang on, okay?"

- Phil Coulson to Skye when finding her.

Dialogue
"You never had any time for her, but you made time for your work. And your prostitutes!" "Prostitutes? Plural?"

- Jemma Simmons and Phil Coulson while undercover

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"We're her family"

- Phil Coulson about Skye

Spoken about Phil Coulson
"You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Phil's one of our finest."

- John Garrett to Antoine Triplett

Spoken about Phil Coulson
"He knows. Repeat; Coulson knows."

- Melinda May to Nick Fury

Dialogue
"No. That's an order." "That's not a good-enough reason!"

- Phil Coulson and Jemma Simmons

"I have never asked you. How was Tahiti?" "It sucked."

- Phil Coulson and Jasper Sitwell

"And the others... Have any of them been here recently?" "Rest easy, Phillip, Son of Coul. None of the others have ever visited Earth."

- Phil Coulson and Sif

Dialogue
"It's not what you think, Coulson. It's just an I.C.E.R." "This one is not. It's real, with real bullets."

- Melinda May and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Drop the damn weapon and kick it over the stairs, May! Now! NOW!!"

- Phil Coulson to Melinda May

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"We were lucky enough to make it through. The Triskelion, the Hub...those battles are just the beginning of this war. HYDRA is out there now but at least our team is still intact. We can fight them, and we will."

- Phil Coulson

"The world needs us. HYDRA is out there. We cannot let them win. We cannot let them define us. Do you understand that? We are not agents of nothing. We are agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and that still carries weight. It has to carry weight. After everything we've been through, that carries weight."

- Phil Coulson to his team

Dialogue
"We have no authority to do this. We're no longer S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. We're..." "We're vigilantes." "I was gonna say, 'doing this because it's the right thing to do,' but... yeah."

- Phil Coulson and Leo Fitz

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Mr. Peterson is free to do whatever he wants."

- Phil Coulson

"Hey guys! I found it! Told ya it'd be in here."

- Phil Coulson

Dialogue
"Hi, John." "Hi, Phil." "Well, that's new."

- Phil Coulson and John Garrett

"You didn't tell me he'd gone this crazy." "He's really stepped it up a notch."

- Nick Fury and Phil Coulson

Spoken by Phil Coulson
"Now I need you to dismantle that thing, and make it about a hundred times smaller. And put a trigger on it!"

- Phil Coulson