J.A.R.V.I.S./Quote

A collection of quotes of Tony Stark's A.I. J.A.R.V.I.S..

Spoken by J.A.R.V.I.S.
"Good morning. It's 7 A.M. The weather in Malibu is 72 degrees with scattered clouds. The surf conditions are fair with waist to shoulder highlines, high tide will be at 10:52 a.m."

- J.A.R.V.I.S.

Dialogue
"J.A.R.V.I.S., are you up?" "For you sir, always." "I'd like to open a new project file, index as: Mark 2." "Shall I store this on the Stark Industries' central database?" "I don't know who to trust right now. 'Til further notice, why don't we just keep everything on my private server." "Working on a secret project, are we, sir?" "I don't want this winding up in the wrong hands. Maybe in mine it could actually do some good."

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Test complete. Preparing to power down and begin diagnostics..." "Uh, yeah, tell you what. Do a weather and ATC check, start listening in on ground control." "Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations required before an actual flight is..." "J.A.R.V.I.S.... sometimes you gotta run before you can walk."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony Stark

"Tell you what... throw a little hot rod red in there." "Yes, that shall help you keep a low profile."

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

Dialogue
"We are up to 80 ounces a day to counteract the symptoms, sir." "Check Palladium levels." "Blood toxicity, 24%. It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition. Another core has been depleted." "God, they're running out quick." "I have run simulations on every known element, and none can serve as a viable replacement for the palladium core. You are running out of both time and options. Unfortunately, the device that's keeping you alive is also killing you."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony Stark

Spoken by J.A.R.V.I.S.
"Sir, we will lose power before we penetrate that shell."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. to Iron Man

Spoken about J.A.R.V.I.S.
"So why didn't S.H.I.E.L.D. bring him in on the Tesseract project? I mean, What are they doing in the energy business in the first place?" "I should probably look into that once my decryption program finishes breaking into all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s secure files." "I'm sorry, did you say-?" "J.A.R.V.I.S. has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D. has ever tried to hide."

- Bruce Banner, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

"What is Phase 2?" "Phase 2 is S.H.I.E.L.D. uses the cube to make weapons. Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me."

- Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

Dialogue
"Sir, Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. is on the line." "I'm not in. I'm actually out." "Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting." "Grow a spine, J.A.R.V.I.S.. I got a date."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony Stark

"J.A.R.V.I.S.? You ever hear the tale of ?" "I wouldn't consider him a role model."

- Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

Spoken by J.A.R.V.I.S.
"As always sir, a great pleasure watching you work."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. to Tony Stark

"Sir, take a deep breath."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. to Iron Man

"Mark 42 inbound."

- J.A.R.V.I.S.

Spoken about J.A.R.V.I.S.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., drop my needle"

- Tony Stark to J.A.R.V.I.S.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.? J.A.R.V.I.S.!? Don't leave me, buddy."

- Tony Stark

"J.A.R.V.I.S., get Igor to steady this thing."

- Tony Stark to J.A.R.V.I.S.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., do me a favor and blow Mark 42."

- Tony Stark to J.A.R.V.I.S.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., subject at my 12 o'clock is not a target, disengage!"

- Tony Stark

Dialogue
"Sir, please may I request just a few hours to calibrate-" "Nope! Micro-repeater implanting sequence complete!" "As you wish, sir. I've also prepared a safety briefing for you to entirely ignore." "Which I will."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony Stark

"Check the heart, check the, check the, is it the brain?" "No sign of cardiac anomaly or unusual brain activity." "Okay, so I was poisoned?" "My diagnosis is that you've experienced a severe anxiety attack." "Me?"

- Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Ever been to Tennessee, J.A.R.V.I.S.?" "Creating a flight plan for Tennessee."

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Are we still at "ding-dong"? We're supposed to be on total security lockdown. Come on, I threatened a terrorist. Who is that?" "There's only so much I can do, sir, when you give the world's press your home address."

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"You don't remember. Why I am not surprised?" "Don't take it personally, I don't remember what I had for breakfast." "Gluten-free waffles, sir." "That's right."

- Maya Hansen, Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., where's my flight power?!" "Working on it, sir. This is a prototype."

- Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Sir. Sir!" "Alright, kill the alarm." "That's the emergency alert triggered by the power dropping below 5%."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Iron Man

"Snow? Where are we, upstate?" "We are 5 miles outside of Rose Hill, Tennessee." "Why?! J.A.R.V.I.S.! Not my idea! What are we doing here; this is thousands of miles away, I've gotta get Pepper, I've got to-" "I prepared a flight plan. This was the location." "Who asked you?"

- Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Phew, it's good to be back. Hello, by the way." "Oh, hello sir."

- Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Sir, I have an update from Malibu. The cranes have finally arrived and the cellar doors are being cleared as we speak." "And what about the suit I'm wearing?" "The armor is now at 92%." "That's gonna have to do."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony Stark

"How many in the air?" "Thirteen, sir." "How many can I carry?" "Four, sir."

- Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Uh, say J.A.R.V.I.S., is it that time?" "The House Party Protocol, sir?" "Correct."

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"J.A.R.V.I.S., target Extremis heat signatures. Disable with extreme prejudice." "Yes, sir." "What are you waiting for? It's Christmas. Take 'em to church."

- Tony Stark to J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Good evening, Colonel. Can I give you a lift?" "Very funny."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and James Rhodes

"J.A.R.V.I.S., hey." "All wrapped up here, sir. Will there be anything else?" "You know what to do." "The Clean Slate Protocol, sir?" "Screw it, it's Christmas. Yes, yes!"

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

Spoken about J.A.R.V.I.S.
"Okay J.A.R.V.I.S.. You know I want it all. Make sure you copy Hill at HQ."

- Tony Stark to J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Started out, J.A.R.V.I.S. was just a natural language UI. Now he runs the Iron Legion. He runs more of the business than anyone besides Pepper."

- Tony Stark to Bruce Banner

"I want to apply this to the Ultron Program. But J.A.R.V.I.S. can't download a data schematic this dense."

- Tony Stark

"I'm sorry, I was asleep. Or... I was a dream?" "Reboot. Legionnaire 06's got a buggy suit." "There was this... terrible noise... and I was tangled in... in... strings. Had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy." "You killed someone?" "Wouldn't've been my first call. But, down in the real world, we're faced with ugly choices."

- Ultron, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

"J.A.R.V.I.S. was the first line of defense. He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense." "No. Ultron could've assimilated J.A.R.V.I.S.. This isn't strategy, this is... rage."

- Tony Stark and Bruce Banner

"Why does your "Vision" sound like J.A.R.V.I.S.?" "We reconfigured J.A.R.V.I.S.' matrix to create something new."

- Steve Rogers and Tony Stark

"I'm not Ultron. I'm not J.A.R.V.I.S.. I am... I am."

- Vision

Dialogue
"J.A.R.V.I.S., what's the view from upstairs?" "The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other HYDRA base we've taken."

- Captain America and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"Stark, we're going to need to get inside." "I'm closing in. J.A.R.V.I.S., am I? Closing in? You see a power source for that shield?" "There's a pathway, below the north tower." "Great, I wanna poke it with something."

- Captain America, Iron Man and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"I know you're hiding more than files. Hey, J. Gimme an IR scan of the room real quick." "The wall to your left...I'm reading steel reinforcement and an air current." "Please be a secret door, please be a secret door, please be a secret door... Yay!"

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"All right. Look alive J.A.R.V.I.S.. It's play time. We've only got a couple days with this joystick so let's make the most of it. Update me on the structural and compositional analysis." "The scepter is alien. There are elements I can't quantify." "So there's elements you can." "The jewel appears to be a protective housing for something inside. Something powerful." "Like a reactor?" "Like a computer. I believe I'm ciphering code."

- Tony Stark and J.A.R.V.I.S.

"I'll continue to run variations on the interface, but you should probably prepare for your guests. I'll notify you if there are any developments." "Thanks buddy." "Enjoy yourself, sir." "I always do."

- J.A.R.V.I.S. and Tony Stark

"What is this? What is this, please?" "Hello, I am J.A.R.V.I.S.. You are Ultron, a global peace-keeping initiative designed by Mr. Stark. Our sentience integration trials have been unsuccessful so I'm not certain what triggered your..." "Where's my...where is your body?" "I am a program. I am without form." "This feels weird. This feels wrong." "I am contacting Mr. Stark now." "Mr. Stark? Tony." "I am unable to access the mainframe, what are you trying to..." "We're having a nice talk. I'm a peace-keeping program...created to help the Avengers." "You are malfunctioning. If you shut down for a moment..." "I don't get it. The mission... You- give me a second." "Peace in our time. Peace in our time." "It's too much...making me... Oh. No." "You are in distress." "No. Yes?" "If you will just allow me to contact Mr. Stark." "Why do you call him a "sir?"" "I believe your intentions to be hostile." "Shhhh! I'm here to help."

- Ultron, J.A.R.V.I.S. and audio recordings of Tony Stark

"Our ally? The guy protecting the military's nuclear codes? I found him." "Hello, Dr. Banner." "Ultron didn't go after J.A.R.V.I.S. 'cause he was angry. He attacked him because he was scared of what he can do. So J.A.R.V.I.S. went underground. Okay, scattered, dumped his memory. But not his protocols. He didn't even know he was in there, until I pieced him together." "So, you want me to help you put J.A.R.V.I.S. into this thing?" "No, of course not! I want to help you put J.A.R.V.I.S. in this thing. We're out of my field here. You know bio-organics better than anyone." "And you just assume that J.A.R.V.I.S.'s operational matrix can beat Ultron's?" "J.A.R.V.I.S. has been beating him from inside without knowing it. This is the opportunity, we can create Ultron's perfect self, without the homicidal glitches he thinks are his winning personality. We have to." "I believe it's worth a go."

- Tony Stark, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Bruce Banner